Blessings in the tough stuff

My goodness, things are crazy.  I don't know if its a combo of having a newborn, not being at school until November, or what, but I feel busy!!  Got a haircut today, and it feels so great!  I have had some great days, and some dark days.  Well, dark nights...I think the devil knows when to get at me, when I am home alone with Micah and Roger isn't home, or in the middle of the night, I am plagued with guilt and doubt in this PKU adventure.  I always wonder if Micah will hate us someday for doing this to him.  I know we didn't do this "to him" but it sure feels like it.  My gene + Roger's gene = PKU.  So, without both of us, he wouldn't have this.  Not to mention, we had to do a blood draw on his little heel Sunday night, and we had to stick him many, many times to get the blood on that dumb card.  I hate this.  I hate all of this.  I hate making my baby cry every week to take this dumb blood thing.  I hate that he has to be a boy and eat "girly" things for the rest of his life.  I hate PKU and that my child has this disorder.  I am fearful of the future that I can't do this, that Micah will not want to do this diet anymore, and just go off of it, then who knows what will happen.  I really hate how I can't feed my baby how I want to.  I have to call someone in Indy before I change anything.  I don't know why God allowed this to happen to my little man, but I know that in my weakness, He is strong.  2 Corinthians 12 often comes to mind when I think about this new situation we have in front of us.  It is when Paul is talking about the thorn in his side...he said it was put there to keep him from being conceited.  It says that Paul pleaded with God to take it away from him, and the following was his response to Paul.
(2 Cor. 12:9)-But he said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That verse is jam packed with good stuff that I need to know and claim that promise over my life, and my family's life and especially Micah's life.  I don't know how to boast in my weakness, or what that looks like, but I am going to try to figure it out.  I think even though I am angry with God, he has still sent along people to walk along side me.  For example, this week, I got together with a friend and one of her friends and her daughter that has PKU....she is beautiful, just like any other toddler I know. It blessed my heart to interact with her and her mom, and to ask her mom questions because she understands where I am at.  Then, when I got home from that event, I had an email in my inbox from someone in our church that has a friend that adopted a little one from China that has PKU.  I have emailed with this lady some, and already it has been a blessing.  I think to myself, she knew this child has PKU, and they still chose her.  Levels me, really, when I think about it.  I can't wait to meet them in person.  Oh Jesus, give me a heart that is okay with this.  Give me an attitude of understanding and acceptance.  On a lighter note, Micah got his newborn pics done this week, and they are so so good.  We are thankful for our little man and can't wait to watch him grow up big and strong, just like his daddy!  Thanks again for all of your prayers for us.  We love our family and friends, and really appreciate the love and support you all have shown us.